This past week at the MTC has been a blur. Our old leaders told us that if we could make it to Sunday, we'd be fine. Truer words. Well it's been two Sundays now. Sister Bronson and I are those same leaders, and we had the privilege of welcoming in two brand new districts. It was amazing, and our new Elders and Sisters are nervous, excited, and as wonderful as can be. It's hard to think that just a week ago that was me. I was unsure of what I was supposed to be doing or if I was actually able to do this.
I leave for Canada the day after tomorrow and I couldn't be more ready. Certainly there are days that I wish I could have more time to learn, more time to pick my teacher's brains, more time to really soak up this drenching from the fire hose. But I don't have that luxury and I'm oddly OK with it.
This mission is the hardest thing I have ever done, but it's hard in a different way than I was expecting. I was expecting to miss home, or to not be able to adjust to the life of a missionary, or to just be too weak to finish what I'd started. In reality, the schedule is long, yes, but manageable. I miss the people I left behind, but I don't wish I was home. Last but not least, there's no way I'm coming home before my time is up. : ) This mission is hard because of the gravity of the message we carry; the weight of the name we bear. Everyone needs our message. Everyone needs the Savior, and it's hard to think about all the people I'll meet who will tell me "no." I know my Savior was sent to save the world -- not just the Jews, Mormons, or the people who live in God's country. Everyone.
A teacher told me this week that the Savior walked a mile in my shoes to bear me up when I couldn't make it on my own. Now I am called to walk a mile in His, or at least try to. I am called to seek after His lost sheep and bring them home. Lucky for me Christ will continue to bear me up on the good and bad days. He'll even go before me and prepare my way.
I couldn't be happier about the next 18 months of my life.
The past two weeks here in the MTC taught me that the Atonement is so much more than I gave it credit for. It's for my tears, my inadequacies; for that moment I struggle to love my leaders and the people I serve. It is to fill me when I am weak, so I am strong. Uh! It's so good!!! I just love it. It's been such a good experience here in the MTC. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
So for all of you reading, I invite you to do some studying of your own and see what the Atonement means to you and what it can help you become.
"God our strength will be, press forward ever, called to serve our King!"
With Love from Can-Win.