Life is weird today.
I've spending a lot of time contemplating my rapidly approaching "finish" mark. There is so little time left, so much I feel like I should have/could have done. I feel in many ways that I didn't do enough, didn't become enough, should have talked to more people, should have tried harder to overcome my fears, should have just done it!
I should have been the perfect missionary.
Welp! Surprise, surprise, guess who still isn't perfect? :)
But that was never really the point. The point was to come, to serve, and to be my best. Honestly, sometimes my best means getting up on time and eating breakfast. Other days my capacity is much greater.
I'm scared to go home. Even with the voice of my father ringing in my ears that there's nothing to be scared of, just family and friends waiting to welcome me, I'm still scared. I wonder if this is how it felt to stand on the brink of that pre-mortal life, knowing that I had to go, that there would be loved ones waiting for me, but panicking a little inwardly. I bet that's fairly accurate. But even there, I had the voice of my Father in my ears, telling me that it was ok to go, that there was nothing to be scared of.
I feel like that was probably the last thing I heard before I left.
Well, these days are full of life to be lived, people to meet, with my life contained to two suitcases and my scripture bag. I keep telling myself this isn't the end, just a really wild beginning to the rest of my life as a grown up. :) And it's true.
President Uchtdorf said, "There seems to be something inside us that resists endings. Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless....endings are not our destiny."
With that in mind, I'm off to go make this day a good one.
With love, from Can-Win
p.s. Shout out to the BV crew!
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
I haven't written in forever, so this post may be super disjointed as I play catch up to the last little bit of my life.
I'm currently serving in Saskatoon, in the Wildwood ward where we are affectionately known as the "Wild" Sisters. (Haha, Elders. Very funny.) Most people have little ones and "Hutchinson" is kind of a mouthful, so I'm Sister Hutch. It's gotten to the point where most of the adults call me that too. I don't mind, and it's super cute to hear all the kids say "Sister Hutch! Sister Hutch!"
So, here I am just doing missionary work forever away from home; but life is good.
One of our investigators was baptized, received the priesthood, and went to the temple within a two week period. Crazy! We were blessed to be able to accompany him down to Regina. (BEST. DAY.EVER.)
My mission also had the rare opportunity to gather as a whole, all 150-something of us, and have a conference in Regina where Elder Christofferson addressed us. First of all, he's HILARIOUS!!! I love that guy! Such a great sense of humor. Second, I love what he said to us. After having a little Q and A sesh, Elder Christofferson gave us a sermon in one word: Remember. He then said, "Remember that you and I were here. This will likely be the only time in this life all of us will be together. Remember this. We were here. I was here, and you heard me say: Jesus Christ lives!"
I just loved that! I feel that the way I feel about that one moment is probably how various others felt about listening to Jacob, or Ammon, or Moses.
Well, transfers came and Sister Smith headed out east, and I welcomed Sister Hansen!!! Woohoo!! We have so much fun!!
Ex: This week I was really struggling just to feel charity for my elders, let alone show it. I mean, it was an honest struggle. So Sister Hansen being the sweet thing she is says, "let's make cookies, and you can write nice notes to each of them."
Siiiiiiiiiigh. Fine! Then as I'm sitting down to write these notes...I have an idea. I just get so excited about this idea I start grinning like I'm the Joker or something. I think Sister Hansen could see it, and was a little worried because she said , "Whaaat?" in kind of the Mom voice that says 'i'm not gonna like what I hear, am I?' I just flip out, and I said, "I'm going to make them all go on secret missions to find their treats!!!"
And that is precisely what I did.
I sent out messages saying that an important mission had come through the T.S. database and that I needed volunteers to accept the assignment. All 4 sets of Elders agreed. I then proceeded to direct them to various locations in search of their package which would contain not only cupcakes, (the cookies burned), but a note telling them their next assignment was to spread the love. It was so FUN!! Thus, secret mission goodies are now a thing.
In addition to secret missions, this week has brought packing, packing, aaaaand...oh yes, more packing! Our ward consists mostly of young student families who travel back home for summer time. So this week brought many opportunities to serve those in our ward. Woohoo!
The highlight of my week, however, was dinner last night. We had pancakes, syrup, strawberrys and whipped cream, along with kids running around, animals under foot, and the singing of Disney songs. It was so good. I extended scripture challenges to the two older kids, and was torn between the two middle kids vying for the attention of myself or my companion. But I totally fell in love with the 3 year old with blonde hair, and brown eyes who wants help blowing her nose and gives sweet spit and strawberry covered kisses. Honestly, being at their house made me miss my own crazy home. I know exactly who I am and where I fit there.
I'm the oldest child, born of goodly parents with three terrors for younger siblings. I am chauffeur, instigator, and zoo keeper. I am late night partner in crime, gym buddy, and runner for whatever it is that Mom or Dad might need. I am comic relief, storybook reader, and local database for useless information. I am also quite the con artist, hoodwinking my 3 younger siblings out of all their hugs, kisses, and cuddles. (No place like home, eh?)
I'm still trying to figure it out here. I don't really know who I am, what I want, or where I'm going in life. The only thing that's really for certain these days is this: I am a disciple of Christ. I know He lives, and I want my life here, whatever that life may be, to lead me back home to His presence.
Be of good cheer, dear readers.
Keep fighting the good fight.
Have a family dinner.
Pray to that God that gave you life.
Admire the beauty of the world in which we live.
Do work. :)
With Love, from Can-Win
p.s. Shout out to DR who likes to stalk missionary blogs!!!
Posted by Taegan at 11:22 AM