Sunday, December 8, 2013

"Sometimes I can't see past what's on the surface..."

This past week nothing huge happened, no game changing life lesson was discovered, and no angels ministered to the people as we taught of Jesus Christ. This week was made up of little things, the kind of things we refer to in the Church as the basics.
My companion learned to study the scriptures a little more carefully, to read a little more earnestly.
I learned to love a little more easily, to judge a little less frequently.
And we learned together how to serve more willingly.
This is what my week has been made up of and I'm grateful for those little lessons. It seems like as a missionary you hit a point where you become a little more hardhearted, a little more cyncical as you've been out longer, and seen very similar stories in multiple places.
You can't judge the one by the other, and honestly it's just not very Christlike. So I've been working extra hard with the Lord in softening my heart. It helps knowing that Nephi prayed for this very thing too. Apparently I'm in good company. :)
That's pretty much it from the The Icebox of the Nation. Other than that I am just being Sisterly, helping in parades, coaxing small children to be friends with me, and trying to stand as a witness.
It takes effort to do that. I'm not always the best, but I try. The Lord knows that.
Anyways, I love you all!!!! Be good!
Shout out to the London ward, I miss you!!!!!! Mucho. :))
With Love from Can-Win.
"..but He helps me understand the depth of my purpose."

There are days I feel like I'm playing chess with God

There are days I feel like I'm playing chess with God.
Except I'm one of the pieces. (It's like wizards chess in the first Harry Potter movie, where they have to play across the board. Anybody? No? Just me then? Ok...)
It's not that I'm playing against God, rather He's using this game to test me, to see how I react when pieces don't move the way I thought they would. So there I am, skipping across the board, ready to reclaim one of my fallen pawns, and the Lord completely blocks my path and says to me, "What will you do? Now that the way doesn't seem clear and easy, what will you do now?"
That's where I am right now. I was in a ward where I was loved, and things were somewhat easy. I knew people. I had a brilliant companion. The work was going fairly well, and I was getting complacent. So the Lord started moving pieces, and now I'm at a point in time where it seems like things have popped up blocking my way. My ward now isn't a ward but a branch, and we struggle. We don't have the luxury of numbers here, we are 28 to Sacrament meeting on a good week. It's hard here.
So what's a girl to do?
I pray. Not always well, and sometimes I ramble and don't really make sense but I pray. I read my scriptures and look for words of comfort from Heavenly Father. I won't lie, I whine a little too, mostly to my companion at night as we're getting ready for bed. But I struggle to put all that I have in the Lord's hands and let Him do the heavy lifting.
I wouldn't trade this. This experience is hard, and stretching, and frustrating. But it's mine to make and do with it what I will.
I choose to roll with it. :)
To those reading, I hope you're having a beautiful day. If it doesn't feel beautiful, find something to make it so. I love you all.
Be good. Stay excellent.
With love , from Can-Win