There are days I feel like I'm playing chess with God.
Except I'm one of the pieces. (It's like wizards chess in the first Harry Potter movie, where they have to play across the board. Anybody? No? Just me then? Ok...)
It's not that I'm playing against God, rather He's using this game to test me, to see how I react when pieces don't move the way I thought they would. So there I am, skipping across the board, ready to reclaim one of my fallen pawns, and the Lord completely blocks my path and says to me, "What will you do? Now that the way doesn't seem clear and easy, what will you do now?"
That's where I am right now. I was in a ward where I was loved, and things were somewhat easy. I knew people. I had a brilliant companion. The work was going fairly well, and I was getting complacent. So the Lord started moving pieces, and now I'm at a point in time where it seems like things have popped up blocking my way. My ward now isn't a ward but a branch, and we struggle. We don't have the luxury of numbers here, we are 28 to Sacrament meeting on a good week. It's hard here.
So what's a girl to do?
I pray. Not always well, and sometimes I ramble and don't really make sense but I pray. I read my scriptures and look for words of comfort from Heavenly Father. I won't lie, I whine a little too, mostly to my companion at night as we're getting ready for bed. But I struggle to put all that I have in the Lord's hands and let Him do the heavy lifting.
I wouldn't trade this. This experience is hard, and stretching, and frustrating. But it's mine to make and do with it what I will.
I choose to roll with it. :)
To those reading, I hope you're having a beautiful day. If it doesn't feel beautiful, find something to make it so. I love you all.
Be good. Stay excellent.
With love , from Can-Win