"Chasten my soul til I shall be in perfect harmony with Thee..."

Happy awkward October Thanksgiving!!!! (If any Canadians are reading this, don't be offended. It's just because I'm American.)

Well life is weird here. Thanksgiving is over and it's on to Halloween!!!! We're also on the tail end of a transfer. It's the 4th week here, which mean next week is transfer calls, and the week after transfers. Crazy, right?

So yesterday was the 12 year mark since my parents and I were baptized. It was very weird to think about how I went from a girl stepping into the water to a soldier in God's army. But it's really neat at the same time. :))

I love God, and Jesus. I am grateful for the things I have been blessed with in this life, especially the gospel. I'm grateful for a Heavenly Father who chastens me, tries me, tests me, and molds me so that I can be better. I am grateful for the trials I have, even though I wouldn't wish them on anyone else. I'm grateful for the way they refine me and push me to pick a side. In this life it's one or the other. Good or evil. Obedience or disobedience. Happiness or wickedness. God or the world.

You can't have both.

I'm grateful for Preach My Gospel. That book is inspired. It helps in so many aspect of my life, not just missionary work. Right now my favorite section is Christlike attributes. I'm studying Faith and Virtue. If you haven't flipped through that section and studied those attributes, I invite you to do so. It's amazing what the Lord witll reveal to you when you are partaking of things that bring His spirit, especially if you are looking for ways you can improve.

I am grateful for my familiy that supports and loves me. That includes the one I've made for myself here. I love you all. You're kind of the best.

I know that Jesus is the Savior and Redeemer of the world. I know God loves us because we are His children. I am grateful to be one of His missionaries.

Life is good.

Love you all! Be good! Be faithful! Stay steady. :))

With Love from Can-Win

"He lives, and while He lives I'll sing..."

I love my mission. It's hard. There are some days I just want to pull the covers over my head and tell God "No! I won't do it! I'm tired! I have problems too!"

And yet...I get out of bed, shower, get dressed, put my tag on, and turn it over to Him as I walk out the door.

Now I'm not saying that that's not a process, and that sometimes it doesn't take me half the day to let things go, but eventually I do let it go.

God is just too loving and merciful to let me have my way. I often hear a little voice in my head that says things like this: "No, no, no, put that down. I have something much better for you over here." Or "There you are, my girl. I've been waiting for you to come to me. Let's try it this way..."

He's kind of the best. And He loves me very, very much.

Last night we had a fireside in the city, and my wonderful, lovely, and talented companion sang "I Know That My Redeemer Lives." It was beautiful. Then as we were sitting in bed getting ready for lights out I remembered about 12 years back when I sat on my kitchen counter listening to a recording of one Sister Kylee Shields, singing that very same hymn. She was one of MY missionaries, who found my family and brought us into the fold of God. I sat and kind of chuckled to myself last night, thinking about how that moment had come full circle. I'm so grateful for those missionaries who came out and served my family.

This transfer, my companion and I are each coming up with a list of 1,000 things to be grateful for. I've discovered that gratitude and acknowledgement that everything I have comes from God keeps me humble and teachable. It keeps me from being self involved. So here goes nothing. :) If you have something you'd like to add send it in! I'll put it on my wall of gratitude.

I love you, all. Stay excellent! Stay steady!

With love, from Can-Win

Plan of Salvation Can-Win style

A Missionary's ABCs

Every missionary has there own set of ABC's whether they know it or not. These are mine, letters A-M. :)

(N-Z TBA)

A is for Attitude. Your attitude is what makes or breaks your day. If you get up grumpy, mad, whiney, you can bet your bottom dollar that's all you're gonna find for the rest of your day. It's not always easy to have a great attitude because life is hard, and things get in the way. But it definitely helps to stop, take a step back, and say "What am I grateful for?" It's a guaranteed gmae changer.

B is for Bedtime, and bedtime is the best time. I can't remember ever going to bed so exhausted and waking up feeling like I've been hit with a bus. It's true! Mornings hurt so much, but bedtime is like Christmas, my birthday, and thanksgiving all wrapped up in one neat little box. just peachy keen.

C is for Call. You get called a lot on your mission. Investigators call you to reschedule, to cancel, or to talk. Your leaders call you to relay information, to check and see how you're doing, to get indicators, to ask for a favor. Sometimes people call you names, and not nice ones at that. But the most important call I got was the one I recieved in the mail telling me that the Lord was calling me to work.

D is for Dog. You know how it's a running joke that you haven't gotten the full missionary experience unless you've been chased by a dog? Well, I can mark that one off my missionary bucket list...

E is for Elders. I love my Elders. I work with the greatest Elders ever, let me tell you. I can't count the number of times I've cried in front of them and they've talked me through my frustration, or they've brought me random things (like chocolate milk) to brighten my day. And they just keep on trucking, being wonderful men of God, like it's no big deal. I've also fixed a lot of Elders clothes. I'm up to one suit coat, one white shirt, one tie, and five pairs of pants.

F is for Faith. Oh faith..I feel like faith is something I take for granted. "Oh yeah, I have faith, I believe. Mhm." Except it's not just believing in God and Christ, or that Joseph Smith was a prophet, or that the Book of Mormon is true. Faith is a word of action. It you have faith it leads you to act on it. It becomes bigger things like trust in the Lord, hope in the promises you've been given, taking a step into the darkness without that surety that a light will flick on somewhere. It's going and doing.

G is for God. I love God. He's kind of the best. That's it. That's all.

H is for Hope. This past week I learned a little bit about hope. It's not uncertain, or iffy. True to the Faith defines Hope as a word of surety and steadfastness in Gospel context. It's not wishy washy, or fleeting. It's firm and durable. I like that. it gives you someting to think about, no?

I is for Igloo. I'm determined to make an igloo up here. They day it can't be done. But it will!!!

J is for Jesus. There's something funny about the way people naturally shy away from me as soon as they see the words 'Jesus Christ' on my badge. I'm not sure what it is. Is it a memo everyone in the city got that I just didn't know about? Or does it make them uncomfortable? If so, why? Why is it when I say His name people immediately shut down? Even those that say they have faith, religion, and God. This is something I'm determined to get to the bottom of.

Also a great quote was given to me by the Bishop. I can't remember how it goes exactly but the gist of it is: The Gospel is there to comfort the afflicted, and to afflict the comfortable. Go Bishop.

K is for Knocking. "Knockin on, rocking on a billion doors...cause this Work is gonna fix what don't work anymore." Knocking doors is hard. People slam, people are rude, it's really not fun! But you do what ya gotta.

L is for Laugh. There are days I swear I've never laughed so hard. My current companion and I break out into random bouts of laughter that doesn't ever seem to stop. I love that. I love laughing over the hard things, the bad things, the fun things, the sad things, things that hurt us or get us down, we just...we laugh. "And when you laugh be sure to laugh out loud cause it will carry..all your cares away." It was the Lord's tender mercy to us, finding joy in the everyday things.

M is for Missionary. A missionary is a weird kind of creature. It loves getting dirty, wearing out shoes and clothes, and eating food. Its heart hurts when people say things like "no" "cult" "atheist" and "I changed my mind." It likes mail, pictures, phone calls, and surprise packages that show up in the office. It doesn't matter whether it's the male or female variety, a missionary can rattle of the purpose they ingrain in their hearts before they even step foot in the new place they call home. A missionary learns to like words like "diligence" "faith" "repentance" and "work". :) Missionaries like wearing a little black piece of plastic with the name of their family and their Lord on their chests, and this girl couldn't be prouder of hers. :))

With love from Can-Win

A Heart was made to Share

It's been a rough one, but I feel the need to show some serious love since I recieved a lot this week. So todays post is allll love notes to the various people in my life who have made this week one to show gratitude for. :)

To the Ladd Family: You have been positively spectacular. I love and appreciate the fact that not only do you allow my companion and I to come into your home weekly, eat your food, and teach you, but you show genuine love and concern for my well being. You know and understand that mission life isn't all rainbows and roses, and you allow me to express that while simultaneously telling me to dust myself off and keep on trucking. You are THE BEST!!! Monday nights have become a personal favorite thanks to you.

To my wonderful Relief Society Presidents: Sister Monchamp and Sister Varey, you are the best!! I love the fact that you treat me as if I were your own. You ask if I'm eating well, if I'm wearing my sweater when it's cold, how my week has been, and you're always so happy to see me! I LOVE it. It's pretty much the best feeling in the world a girl could have out here. :)

To my District: Oh you wonderful missionaries, you. It never ceases to amaze me the love, support, encouragement, bad jokes, and baked goods you supply me with. I love you all. Each one of you make our district wonderful, and I am more than delighted to be serving with you.

To my companions: All of you. That's right, all 4 of you!!! You are simply sensational. I cannot tell you how many times bad hair days, sad days, angry days, agitated days, homesick days have been made infintely better because you were there. You are examples to me. You are the best women I could ever hope to serve with. Sis R you taught me what a good missionary was life. Sis H you taugh me that it was ok to have bad days, you just gotta pick yourself up and keep going. Sis B you taught me that a little bit of crazy isn't neccessarily a bad thing. Sis F you taught me what it really means to be diligent and to trust the Lord. I love, love, love you all!!!!!!

To those faithful few that write me about as consistently as one can get: You make my life. You have no idea just how special/magical/sacred mail is. Even emails. It's almost ridiculous how excited I get when I have mail. So to those who tell tales of home, who encourage, who bless, who inspire me through the wonderful workings of the web, or the exciting excursions of the envelope from you to me...I love you. You have no idea what those few silly words mean to me.

To my fantastic family back home: I love you. I miss you. Terribly. Some days I want to come home to you, but I know I have things to do here. Keep writing me, (Erin and Sean!!!!) and I'll keep writing you. Hugs and kisses all around. You make me happy.

To my little brother: You're such a champion. I have such a great love and respect for you, little brother. I read your emails and look for ways to be more like you. Such a valiant spirit. :) I love you so much. Keep smilin', keep truckin....keep praying. God be with you til we meet, Elder Hutchinson. :) And what a glorious reunion it shall be.

Alright. I'm off to play in the great wilds of Canada. :) I love you all, friends.

Be good. Be safe. Be faithful.

With love, from Can-Win

"So what if I was just a painter, painting houses on the rich blue coast.."

So the reason for this particular title is that this line stuck in my head this week.

All week.

It never went away.

Then when I really got to thinking about it my mind started wandering to what I would be doing if I were home right now. I'd probably be working for minimum wage, enjoying beach life, my family, and talking with friends. I'd be gearing up to go back to school to finish my Senior year and figure out what to do next. I'd be in my own little realm where I know who I am, where I fit, and what my role is.

But here, it's a whole different ball game.

In Canada I'm just part of a larger army that gets shuffled around every 6 weeks or so. (Not that that's really happened yet.) As a missionary I come and go in a flash. With every person/family I play a different role. I don't really know where I fit in other than the fact that I wear a badge the bears the name of Christ, and do my best to follow Him. There are days I work on the fly, I just go with it and pray the Lord is guiding my feet. So far so good. :)

But the point is if I was back home doing my own thing I never would have been here. I never would have met the woman who told me she sees God when she looks at my face. I never would have met the little boy whose face lights up when I walk into church on Sunday. I never would have met the women who are my Sisters in arms so to speak, and helped lift them as they lift me. I never would have met the Elders who have showed me what kind of men I want to surround myself with.

I would have surrounded myself with my phone/friends, my homework, my family, books, and movies. Here I surround myself with children of God, some who know of their heritage, some who don't. I surround myself with the scriptures, and hymns, and prayers.

Here I surround myself with the best of things.

And I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

So here's to all you who've stayed with me. I love and miss you all.

Stay excellent.

With Love from Can-Win

"..A more faithful soldier to the end.."

This week's lesson has been on diligence! Woooo!

We had Zone Conference this past week which was fantastic! There was lots of great training, practicing, reminders, and just all around goodness. My Zone Leaders presented a portion of training on diligence and what it means for us as missionaries to show it. They gave an analogy of a fireman, a police officer, and a doctor. A fireman saves lives from burning buildings, a police officer upholds the law, and a doctor saves lives in the operating room. All three are jobs of authority, leadership, and weigh heavy at times on those who do them.

But what happens if the fireman doesn't sharpen his axe or take care of his truck? What happens if the doctor tells someone he won't operate on them because the last patient he tried to save died? What if the polic officer was just too tired and didn't respond to an emergency call?

In short: people die.

As missionaries we don't save lives, we save souls. So what happens when we don't practice our skills in the mornings to keep them sharp and honed? What happens if we refuse to work with someone because the last person we taught didn't want to be baptized? What if on a long day I'm just too tired to go tracting for the last fifteen minutes of my night?

People are lost or stay lost.

So I've been called to a new standard of diligence. To work like everything depends on me, and then allow the Lord to do the heavy lifting.

I love you all. Be good. Stay excellent.

With Love from Can-Win

Life's Tough! Get a Helmet.

    So this week has been kind of a rough one, but so good at the same time. My new companion Sister Bennett and I are hard at work and loving life. But, you know, I have blisters and a pair of busted flats. My shirts are starting to look worn, and keeping track of mileage/money WHILE being concerned about the eternal welfare of souls placed in your care can be a little stressful.

But I'm growing.

    My last companion, Sister Harrison, loved reading the book of Isaiah, because there were so many plant analogies. There was almost always something that could be compared to our faith, our hope, our strength, and the way we grow when we're under pressure.

    There are days I spend 15 minutes on my knees just begging for patience and mercy, because this work is hard. I come home exhausted. I wake up exhausted. There is continual room for improvement, there is continual upheaval, dismissal, rejection, and disappointment.

And there is so much joy.

    Someone here told me that when life hits you hard and knocks you over, you pick yourself up by your bootstraps, dust your skirt off, and keep on truckin'. So that's what I do.

    This is the hardest, toughest, best, and most miraculous thing I've ever done in my life. This is an experience that leaves a person changed. I love Canada. I love the people that tell me no, not now, or not ever. I love those that allow me into their homes. I love the missionaries that bolster me up, that lock horns with me, and those that help me just take life as it comes.

    Life is good. I got a helmet. :))

With love from Can-WIn

"Wait on the Lord, be of good courage.."

Alright friends, so I know I've been a little MIA, but there's been a lot going on. My companion is transfering to a new ward and I will be training a new missionary fresh from the MTC. Can you say "Ahhh!"? :) It's been really hard watching SIster Harrison say goodbye to everyone, especially knowing I'll be her last one in this area. Ew.

Other than that life is pretty grand. The weather has been beautiful, our investigators haven't been ditching our appointments nearly as much, and the work is just mocing along quite nicely. If any of you haven't had the chance to watch the "Work of Salvation" broadcast, I highly recommend it. It's not just for the missionaries, but for the members and ward leaders. So good!

M.J., our baptismal date is progressing beautifully, and she's so excited to be baptized! I'll send pictures of that home for all of you to see. :)) We have two other investigators we're working with, and more on the way. (Hopefully)

This week's topic has been trust/patience with the Lord. There are days it's so hard for me to realize that everything happens in the Lord's time. His timetable is the only one that matters, regardless of how I think or feel. I have investigators or people I know and I just want to run up to them and shout "BE BAPTIZED! THE GOSPEL IS GOOD! YOU'LL LOVE IT!" But you know, that's probably not the greatest idea. I just want so badly for everyone to feel the joy I do, to know the things that I know, because when you do life becomes a lot less scary. There's nothing quite like the love of the Savior.

But really.

So go and study the Atonement sometime this week. I promise that as you do so, you feel feel the love of your God and Savior, and oh! is it a wonderful feeling.

 I love you all. Be safe. Be happy.

 With love from Can-Win

"Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea..." -Ether 2:24

Life has been...weird this week. Good, but weird. My leaders (District and Zone) have been giving Sister Harrison and I some extra things to study and read since we're kind of on our own, and it's been so helpful. So here we are, just truckin' along...meeting new people...teaching investigators..then BAM!

I get sick.

For the WHOLE WEEKEND.

It was really rough. Sister Harrison and I were not pleased. One thing we learned from this little escapade is that sometimes the things you think you want, aren't what you really want, (like extra study/sleep time), and that this is not an idle work.

We struggled this weekend. Being locked in a house is not a fun thing, espeially when you're used to being out and about more often than you are inside. But luckily we had wonderful Elders who took extremely good care of us, as well as a few members, and couples. The highlight was when our Zone and District Leader came and gave us the sacrament because neither of us could attend either meeting. So. Good.

This week I've finished the Book of Mormon again. This book of such a game changer, I don't understand how anyone can live without it. (I guess that's why I'm here, eh?)

So I've been reading in the book of Ether, the story of the brother of Jared. For those of you who don't know, this story is very near and dear to me, as it is part of the reason I'm here in Canada. (For more info check out : The Title. The Mission. The Dream.)

In chapter 6 it talks about how the barges that the Jaredites built were "many times buried in the depths of the sea.." (vs. 6) but that as they cried unto the Lord, He did bring them up again. In verse 8 it says "And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land.."

There are times where we are buried in the sea, when the waves never cease to crash in around us, and it seems like we will never see the surface again. But the Lord will always bring us back to the surface, and He never ceases in driving us onward to our own promised lands.

Even if we can't quite see that far.

On that note, I hope everyone is having a wonderful week and enjoying life wherever you are. XO

With Love from Can-Win

p.s. This weeks people to find are Justin Trapp, and Jessica Casper. If anyone can get me in touch with them I'd be grateful. :)