Wednesday, March 13, 2013

"The hard is what makes it great."

I've been wondering on and off about what the topic of my post would be. Life has been a whirl of appointments, mission prep, and packing up my life to be stowed away for a year and a half. The closer I get to my report date, the more I begin to have tiny revelations about what it is I'm doing.

The first is that the Lord will confirm your call. My brother's story is amazing. He knew where he was going before our papers were even sent. He knew the exact mission. I on the other hand had no idea. Not even an inkling. When I read the words Winnipeg Canada it was like a light went on inside me and I thought "Oh! Of course! Canada!" It was perfect, and I'm grateful for the confirmation.

The second revelation is once you have your call, once you formally enlist yourself in God's army, the adversary works on you nonstop. It's obnoxious, and draining, and sometimes downright disheartening. A lot of missionaries I know tend to gloss over this part of preparing, but I'm pretty sure every one of us have felt it in one way or another. For one close friend and I, it's the fear of inadequacy, the fear that we can't do this. (Just for the record, she's serving in Argentina now.) I struggle daily with trying to keep myself from backing out of going. It's not that I don't want to, because I do! But I'm so afraid that I won't be strong enough to do it, that I feel I shouldn't even try. It's totally bogus, but the adversary is a crafty fella.

For any of you movie junkies out there, at least one of you will have recognized the title of this post. It comes from the movie "A League of Their Own" starring Tom Hanks. Yes, it's a baseball movie, but the quote was totally apropos. As I've been inwardly panicking about going on my mission, this quote just keeps coming back. And it's so good. When one of the main characters quits playing baseball in the movie, Tom Hanks asks her why. She replies, "It just got too hard." His reply is beautiful.

"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great."

So that's the attitude I've taken and applied here. A mission is hard. There's no way it could or would be easy. I  didn't decide to do this on a whim. I decided to do this because that's what a set of Sisters and Elder did for me and my family. So I'm paying it forward. It will be hard. There will be days where I don't think I can do it, when I want to go home, or just stay in bed all day. But here's a reason it's called the best two years. :)

So Canada better be ready for me.

Cause I'm bringing it.

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